Never Say These Things to Your Child
While it is likely that you will never use phrases such as “you should wait for your father to get home” or “How I wish you would emulate your brother/sister more,” on your kids, you should know that there are plenty of other things that you should never tell them. You should always keep in mind that words can even be more hurtful that physical punishments, so make sure that you completely eliminate them from your vocabulary. For their sake, and yours as well, never say these things to your child.
1. “Good job.”
According to experts, generic statements such as “good job,” “good boy/girl,” or “nice one,” when uttered every time that your child does something good, such as perfecting a new skill, can lead to your kid being dependent on their parents’ affirmation instead of their own motivation and doing. Save praises for events and things that really brought out the best in them. In addition, it is also highly recommended that you are as specific as possible. So rather than saying “good job” you should say something like, “That was a great performance, I really liked how you smiled while playing the piano.”
2. “Practice is the key to perfection.”
Yes, there is no doubt that investing time on mastering a skill will result in your child perfecting it faster. However, saying things like “practice makes perfect” will just build more tension and put more burden on your kid. It will also make your child feel as if he/she did not devote everything if he/she made a mistake. Instead of saying things like this, you should show full support and say words of encouragement.
3. “You are fine.”
It is very common for parents to tell their crying kids who fell and scraped their knees that “you’re okay” or that “you’re fine, you’re a big boy/girl.” However, doing this will only make them feel worse than what they are already feeling. Your role as a parent is to help them understand and teach them the proper way of dealing with emotions. You should never discount what they are feeling, so instead of saying things like this, you should give them a hug and tell them that you are there for them.